YOU are NOT Independent

I believe that the best way to understand the meaning of a vague topic is to analyze the outcome of its paradox. The realization of the important aspects will result in a better recognition of the wisdom behind such topic. In this case, the definition of dependency and how it affects our lives will be our main focus.   

First of all, a society consists of people who feel bounded by its valuable culture and depend on each other to enrich their experience. Logically, those individuals are loyal, faithful and willing to sacrifice their lives to protect their country for freedom. The level of freedom varies from the war of independence to the freedom of expression. For instance, is it possible to be free when we are being judged by the society since we are part of it? Mahatma Gandhi said “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”  Therefore, our choices are controlled by unwritten boundaries and rules of our cherished society and the world around us.   

Secondly, every human being consists of physical and personality characters which are inherited from the people around us. For example, we are the outcome of two persons' intimate relationship which shaped our physical features. In fact, when we were children, our appearance was identical to one of our parents or close relatives. As a result, during big family gatherings everyone is sure that we are related to them since blood is bonding us together. Also, the person’s interpersonal skills are obtained from the people around him since they raised him to behave in a certain way. Does this mean that you are independent from your family?

Moreover, the human body is a collection of organs connected together with muscles, nerves and veins. Undoubtedly, the body system works in a functional rhythm depending on the role of each organ and monitored by the brain cells. When you catch a winter flu, the white blood cells will fight the infection which will result in raising your body temperature, increasing heart rate and exhausting you physically. This defense mechanism aims to collaborate the energy of your heart  and lungs to protect you from the deadly virus. In a word, this would not have happened if each organ was independent from one another.

In conclusion, not a living object is fully independent, we are all dependent one way or another in different aspects. What keeps us alive is the connection that we have to one another towards improving our well-being.  So, let's respect our differences and appreciate our connection because the world will not be beautiful and meaningful without us harmonizing together. 

The Art of Speech

     As a practicing Muslim I believe that the Qur'an was sent to guide us through this life. It was not sent merely to be repeated and recited, but as a source of knowledge and enlightenment. One of the most recent lessons I have learned was brought to my attention by a speech given in a small masjed in the USA. Out of everything the speaker could have talked about he chose one verse: "عَلَّمَهُ الْبَيَانَ" - roughly translated this means "The Art of Speech"-. He then gave four simple building blocks to establish good communication: the person is more important than the point, being kind is better than being right, say what you mean and mean what you say, listening is more important than speaking.

      The person is more important than the point. As rudimentary as this seems it is often the first mistake people make (myself included). We get so caught up in trying to prove our point we stop caring about the person and fixate on being "Right" and convincing the other person to abandon their "False" point of  view. First, it is paramount to understand that it is a point of view. Second, evaluate the importance of what is being communicated, is it a deep seated belief or just an afterthought. Third, know who you are talking to, if the person talking to you is not willing to communicate in a respectful way, end the conversation and stop wasting your breath. It will only escalate and could ruin the relationship. The person is more important than the point.

     Being kind is better than being right. Words can cut deeper than any sword, so always remember to be kind. The way you communicate is just as important as what you are communicating. No matter how sound your point of view is ! it is useless of you are shouting. It is equally useless if your face is twisted with rage. Body language is just as important (if not more) than the words you choose. A loving smile can turn the worse of conversations into a happy one. Always remember that conversations happen between two unique people with different backgrounds. Being thoughtful, kind, and warm is better than being right.

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: أنا زعيم ببيت في ربض الجنة لمن ترك المراء وإن كان محقا، وببيت في وسط الجنة لمن ترك الكذب وإن كان مازحاً، وببيت في أعلى الجنة لمن حسن خلقه.

      Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Once you say something, you can never take it back. Think before you permanently effect your relationship with the person you are talking to. This is also true about saying something you don't believe in just to "win" an argument. Meaning what you say includes keeping promises, no matter how small, talking about your emotions, because we aren't mind readers and cant read them for you. Body language helps, but it is still an educated guess and not as good. Say what you mean and mean it!

     Listening is more important than speaking. This last one is the most important by far. We have all done it, the person is talking and all we do is prepare counters to what they are saying. Sometimes we let them continue, sometimes we interrupt them, but everytime we aren't listening. We only pay attention to the points we want to counter, the rest is turned into "bla bla bla". Hearing is NOT listening! I would venture and say that 90% of miscommunication is due to lack of listening. One party talks the other prepares counters and no one is listening. It is said that in the first year of marriage the woman talks and the man listens. The second year the man talks and the woman. The third year the man talks, the woman talks and the neighbors listen.


     Life is meaningless without communication. So please take the time to work on becoming a better communicator. It will enhance your life in every way imaginable.

Nice or too Nice?

     I have always been described as an open book. I say what I feel and am very open with my opinions and life goals. This was second nature to me. I saw no reason to lie, or even conceal my actions. All of this I did because I wanted to be nice. to never hurt someones feelings and to avoid conflict. However, I am starting to believe I was wrong.


     I have become skeptical of whether this approach to life is the right approach. I found that the more information people have about you the more they tend to use and abuse it. Yes some friends will get to know you better and will cherish your presence and be equally honest. But I am talking about those times when you are in a group or amongst people who are not particularly friends or are friends that tend to talk even to untrustworthy people. Its a sad fact but some people no matter how much you love them just cant keep it to themselves and others are just too curious and pry where they should not.


     In the last year I have learned that no matter how nice, honest and pure your intentions are it sometimes doesn't matter. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. I also learned that some people want to impose their way of life on you, so the more they know the more interference they run on those elements of your life they disapprove of. I also learned that some people are just evil! they will spin a web of lies and imaginations that even G.R.R Martin would be proud. These people will hurt you, because sadly very seldom do I find people that have the "Not So Common Sense" to brush away rumors and baseless suspicions. Au contraire they take these lies and half truths and knock down facts and truths!


     Moreover, it simply becomes a headache to have to explain your point of view over and over to people who only seek to "Win the argument". Therefore, I have started to resort to the use of  "I am sorry, that's none of your business\ That doesn't concern you"  or "Why do you ask?" or "Whats with the 1001 questions?". People tend to either drop the subject or say "I only wanted to start a conversation" to which I reply "then lets talk about something other than what I am up to". Yes at first I was heartbroken to resort to such methods. I believed that I was being "sketchy", dishonest, and just rude. However, I also found that without all of that information about me out there in the open I have less lies thrown at me and much less conspiracy theories. The people that had nothing better to do then create elaborate stories about me and my life lost interest.


     So in the end for me it sort of worked out. I still don't always like to resort to such tactics, but I have learned that trust, honesty and being nice are double edged swords than can and will stab you in the back.

Quotes / اقتباسات

تدوينة عن أجمل الاقتباسات 

Our experiences do count for something and give us a perspective that can be wise and unique. others may try to take this perspective away from us, yet it is only when we deny its true value that we forfeit a part of our identity. Trust your perceptions and don’t be too busy to have them. ~ pageaday.com