I have always been described as an open book. I say what I feel and am very open with my opinions and life goals. This was second nature to me. I saw no reason to lie, or even conceal my actions. All of this I did because I wanted to be nice. to never hurt someones feelings and to avoid conflict. However, I am starting to believe I was wrong.
I have become skeptical of whether this approach to life is the right approach. I found that the more information people have about you the more they tend to use and abuse it. Yes some friends will get to know you better and will cherish your presence and be equally honest. But I am talking about those times when you are in a group or amongst people who are not particularly friends or are friends that tend to talk even to untrustworthy people. Its a sad fact but some people no matter how much you love them just cant keep it to themselves and others are just too curious and pry where they should not.
In the last year I have learned that no matter how nice, honest and pure your intentions are it sometimes doesn't matter. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. I also learned that some people want to impose their way of life on you, so the more they know the more interference they run on those elements of your life they disapprove of. I also learned that some people are just evil! they will spin a web of lies and imaginations that even G.R.R Martin would be proud. These people will hurt you, because sadly very seldom do I find people that have the "Not So Common Sense" to brush away rumors and baseless suspicions. Au contraire they take these lies and half truths and knock down facts and truths!
Moreover, it simply becomes a headache to have to explain your point of view over and over to people who only seek to "Win the argument". Therefore, I have started to resort to the use of "I am sorry, that's none of your business\ That doesn't concern you" or "Why do you ask?" or "Whats with the 1001 questions?". People tend to either drop the subject or say "I only wanted to start a conversation" to which I reply "then lets talk about something other than what I am up to". Yes at first I was heartbroken to resort to such methods. I believed that I was being "sketchy", dishonest, and just rude. However, I also found that without all of that information about me out there in the open I have less lies thrown at me and much less conspiracy theories. The people that had nothing better to do then create elaborate stories about me and my life lost interest.
So in the end for me it sort of worked out. I still don't always like to resort to such tactics, but I have learned that trust, honesty and being nice are double edged swords than can and will stab you in the back.
I have become skeptical of whether this approach to life is the right approach. I found that the more information people have about you the more they tend to use and abuse it. Yes some friends will get to know you better and will cherish your presence and be equally honest. But I am talking about those times when you are in a group or amongst people who are not particularly friends or are friends that tend to talk even to untrustworthy people. Its a sad fact but some people no matter how much you love them just cant keep it to themselves and others are just too curious and pry where they should not.
In the last year I have learned that no matter how nice, honest and pure your intentions are it sometimes doesn't matter. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. I also learned that some people want to impose their way of life on you, so the more they know the more interference they run on those elements of your life they disapprove of. I also learned that some people are just evil! they will spin a web of lies and imaginations that even G.R.R Martin would be proud. These people will hurt you, because sadly very seldom do I find people that have the "Not So Common Sense" to brush away rumors and baseless suspicions. Au contraire they take these lies and half truths and knock down facts and truths!
Moreover, it simply becomes a headache to have to explain your point of view over and over to people who only seek to "Win the argument". Therefore, I have started to resort to the use of "I am sorry, that's none of your business\ That doesn't concern you" or "Why do you ask?" or "Whats with the 1001 questions?". People tend to either drop the subject or say "I only wanted to start a conversation" to which I reply "then lets talk about something other than what I am up to". Yes at first I was heartbroken to resort to such methods. I believed that I was being "sketchy", dishonest, and just rude. However, I also found that without all of that information about me out there in the open I have less lies thrown at me and much less conspiracy theories. The people that had nothing better to do then create elaborate stories about me and my life lost interest.
So in the end for me it sort of worked out. I still don't always like to resort to such tactics, but I have learned that trust, honesty and being nice are double edged swords than can and will stab you in the back.
